The term soft skills has been around for decades. This concept is now being increasingly highlighted in many professional development or business articles in the past few years. What does this term or concept actually mean?

I have always substituted the phrase soft skills with the paradigm of effective interpersonal communications skills. Yes, there are more words; but these words better describe what’s involved in this skill set.

With my first career being in Speech and Language Therapy, I knew and understood well the “power” of effective communication. That’s when I began using the concept of “effective interpersonal communication skills” for my clientele and colleagues. Then, one of the things that I learned early in my career as a contingency recruiter specializing in Engineering and Manufacturing search/placement was that the word soft was a disadvantage in the hard world of manufacturing. It devalued the skill and the individual that was connected to that word. This then reinforced my paradigm shift to using this alternative phrase to describe this trait.

The concept that we’re all trying to describe is a communication ability to get our message across to another human being. Job postings/job descriptions often include the phrase “Excellent written and oral communication skills required” when they are recruiting. What are they really looking for? They should be looking for people who have great ideas, can implement those ideas in order to achieve goals and/or objectives using people effectively.

The first thing an employer needs to look at is their own skill. Do they have this and more importantly how do they encourage and further develop these traits internally? Secondly, how are you looking for it with new hires? Finally, is everyone (employer and candidate) displaying the desired traits consistently?

Technology and Effective Interpersonal Communication Skills
How technology is used is the big factor here. Its appropriate place is obviously with written communication and it can be used effectively. Texting is an option, but used sparingly and with only a select few. Spell and grammar check were put in MS Word for a reason, so use it! But keep in mind it is not perfect, so the persons command of the language is still critical.

Everyone should evaluate their oral communication skills and enlist the aid of an objective third party. Pay attention to rate of speech, tone of voice, use of fillers (um, uh, you know, slang, etc.) and are you pleasant to listen too? How successful are you at getting your point across? Your ability to listen, how you process the information and then respond are also vital components of interpersonal communication skills. Technology plays a minimal role in verbal communication, if any.

Understanding Your Communication Style
Are good communicators born or made? That topic is still open for debate. I have seen these traits in people as young as high school age and yet missing in adults with an MBA. It also crosses over any profession. How effectively you get your message across can determine if you can progress from the “technician” level to the “professional” level. It wouldn’t matter if you were an auto mechanic or a cardio vascular surgeon.
Before you work on developing your skills you first need to understand your style. How do you take in, process and then convey information.

Aptitude plays a major role in how this will all be used. Some people have an innate ability (Dave Thomas, Anne Peltier, Walt Disney, etc.). Many of these people respond intuitively, with the ability to analyze as part of the process. Life experiences and how you deal with those experiences (successes and failures), are also strong factors. The issue of needing a long time in analyzing information is the trap of paralysis by analysis which can be the kiss of death for entrepreneurs.

Develop and Improve your Skills
After you’ve identified your style, determine what you want to achieve and practice, practice, practice. Actually tape record yourself and listen. Would you listen to yourself for five minutes? Speaking in supportive environments (Toastmasters, your Mastermind group, etc.) to improve the skills through objective feedback is your second step. This technique must be mastered via telephone or preferably face to face. Online just can not indicate facial expression, tone, inflection or body language. We as a species are wired to use these factors in communicating to one another.

Learn how to adjust quickly as you receive and evaluate responses from the other party(ies) in a seamless, logical manner.

The final aspects of effective interpersonal communications skills are:
• Do you know what you want to achieve?
• Do you know how to get to the right person/people to achieve it?
• Are you capable of following through successfully once you get what you ask for?

If the workforce and the employer are on the same page for these aspects mutual success should be the results.