Too often, we believe that leadership is the domain of those with recognized authority, and the title to go with it: CEOs, presidents, conductors, mayors.

"In a world that is changing as rapidly as this one, we need to think differently about leadership," said Susan Collins, author of Our Children Are Watching: Ten Skills for Leading the Next Generation to Success. "Leading is not done by those few in high places, but by parents and teachers and managers and those governing - all working together to create the world that we want."

When we dare to stand up for our beliefs or to follow through on our big dreams and ideas, when we act as though what we say and do in the world matters - and matters greatly - we are leading.

In other words, leadership is a way of life, an expression of our fullest and best nature, our unique gifts. And it starts on the inside.

"Everything rises and falls on leadership," John C. Maxwell wrote in his book The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. "If you can become the leader you ought to be on the inside, you will be able to become the leader you want to be on the outside. People will want to follow you. And when that happens, you'll be able to tackle anything in this world."

Leadership in Action

Because leadership inextricably is connected to who we are deep down, every leader has a different style. Some lead with their eccentric, charismatic selves on full, charming display. Other leaders bear no banners and sound no trumpets.

Whatever their individual style, leaders who generate high performance in individuals and organizations do the same general kinds of things, according to James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner. Kouzes and Posner, authors of The Leadership Challenge, have spent more than 20 years researching leadership, including 70,000 surveys, 1,000 written case studies, and 100 in-depth interviews. Their research revealed the following five common practices of exemplary leaders of all varieties (entrepreneurs, community organizers, department heads or parents):

1. Model the way. Leaders establish principles, create standards and set examples that establish the environment for the way work will be pursued. Like parents, leaders model the kind of behavior they want to see. For example, during one long, grueling day leading up to an important product launch, one executive took her entire team to a drive-in movie in the afternoon to relax and clear their mind. By taking time to relax herself, she demonstrated great leadership, and in the process reminded her group that it is often the simple things that restore order and balance, and help generate clear-minded solutions.

2. Inspire a shared vision. Leaders see beyond the horizon of "what is" to the shores of "what could be," and they do so with the passionate belief that they can make a difference. Whether through magnetic attraction, exemplary modeling or quiet persuasion, they enlist others in those dreams or inspire others to envision their own dreams. "Leadership is the art of mobilizing other people to want to struggle for shared aspirations," Kouzes and Posner wrote.

3. Challenge the process. Leaders are always on the lookout for innovation, not for innovation's sake, but to improve the status quo. They are not afraid of experiment and risk, and they consider mistakes and failures as learning opportunities. For example, the peer mediation group that an executive brought over from New Zealand did amazing work training high school students in the unique method, but fell flat at the middle school level. "We learned that junior high students need a different approach," the executive said. No failure there, just learning.

4. Enable others to act. Exemplary leaders foster collaboration and motivate extraordinary teams much the way parents do. They offer resources, establish necessary boundaries, knock down barriers and guide as needed - all in the name of creating opportunities for others to succeed. Part of the way they do so is by paying attention to the cornerstones of mutual respect, trust, human dignity and empowerment.

5. Encourage the heart. Leaders recognize the contributions and needs of the human heart. They celebrate accomplishments, give credit, say thank you, and keep hope and determination alive by making people feel like heroes. There are hundreds of ways to acknowledge how people have contributed to your group's vision, mission, values and goals - the only limits being one's creativity and sincerity.

Leadership as Relationship

Valuing the role of the heart in leadership, Kouzes and Posner make the case for understanding leadership as a relationship, one that requires nurturing and care.

"Whether it's one-to-one or one-to-many, business as usual or challenges in extraordinary times, leadership is a relationship between those who aspire to lead and those who choose to follow," Kouzes and Posner said. "North, south, east, or west, success in business, and success in life has been, is now, and will be a function of how well we work and play together."

When we step forward and lead every day, we find we make a difference to the success of our associations, industries, homes, communities, and lives - and this gives us meaning.